Workplace conflict can wreak havoc with office culture, especially if it is ignored or handled improperly. Communication breakdowns and lower productivity can result; such situations also breed unhealthy relationships. And the work product is bound to be affected.
Distractions. When unresolved conflict surrounds us, we tend to be unsettled and distracted. Our minds often process the issue repeatedly, attempting to unravel the story and work out the details. This is not only inefficient and ineffective, because you are having the conversation only with yourself, but it keeps you from paying attention to your task.
Irritability. Conflict can stir up the emotions that make us irritable and impatient. In this state of mind, we can be careless and absentminded.
Deteriorating relationships. As indicated, when we allow conflict to go unaddressed, relationships suffer. Trust can deteriorate sometimes to the point that people lose a level of caring. We can become negligent or inattentive.
Unattended emotions such as anger, frustration, hurt, and a feeling of being not being heard or respected can generate an apathetic culture. Apathy can lead to a quick decline of tending to the details.
Attitudes and approaches
There are two general camps of how we approach conflict – we either avoid it or tackle it head-on.
Avoidance only generates more layers of complexity – deepening misunderstandings and resentment. We create a litany of stories about what’s transpiring while stockpiling our ammunition about why that person is wrong and a jerk. Once we’ve built our well-constructed stories, it’s difficult to be open to a new perspective or reality.
Those people who claim to tackle conflict head-on often tend to bring ultimatums to the conversation, standing their ground on the issue rather than seeking resolution. They seem to care more about being right than understanding another’s perspective and creating buy-in or collaboration.
So, why do we avoid conflict? It can feel vulnerable, threatening and just plain uncomfortable. We don’t feel in control when we engage in it. We may perceive it as a threat to our position, as if someone is questioning our competence and decision-making. We get annoyed and impatient, particularly when we are certain we are right. Sometimes we avoid it because we don’t want to damage the relationship. Mostly, I suspect we avoid it because we don’t have the skills and experience to navigate conflict confidently and successfully.
Resolve issues and enrich relationships
Remember that conflict is natural and not inherently bad. It’s a workable starting point to address what most people resist. Conflict is also valuable. That’s where some of the best solutions come from because oftentimes critical issues are unearthed. It’s also where people develop a mutual, deeper understanding and appreciation for team members’ diverse experiences.
Identify what’s actually happening. Really understand the issue(s), assumptions, what’s at stake, the people impacted and your own emotions around it. Get clarity about the issue at hand and the impact.
Define common ground. What are you both committed to making happen? What shared business outcome can you agree on? Where are you aligned? When we remember the common goal, we can start a conversation on the same page.
Seek to understand the other’s perspective. Conflict frequently comes from misunderstandings. Become clear on each other’s perspectives, to the point that each person could articulate the other’s argument convincingly, to help create a more optimal solution. This approach helps incorporate a more comprehensive resolution and create buy-in – which will improve execution of any idea or decision.
Brainstorm possible solutions. This approach can be facilitated by asking open-ended questions. Both parties need to truly listen to the answers with the intent of resolving the issue – not just defending one’s position. Keep the end goal front and center.
If addressing isn’t part of your office dialog, consider integrating it on a regular basis. It provides one more compelling reason to get to the root of what’s not working, produce better outcomes and improve relationships.
Karen Natzel is a business therapist who helps leaders create healthy, vibrant and high-performing organizations. Contact her at 503-806-4361 or karen@natzel.net.